Stress Origin

Stress Definition

Misconception

Biochemical Changes

Diagnostic Recomendatons

Understanding FMS

DHEA and Other Hormones

Nutritional Supplements

Where Have all the Flowers Gone?

Where are all the cards, the dates, and the little nice things that used to be a daily or weekly event? Where has the fun gone for many of the women of this country? It seems like American women are really being ripped off in this area as the years go by. Overwhelming responsibility and a lack of appreciation is crushing the stamina of even the most adept women in our culture and it isn't only here in America. During a recent trip out of the U.S., we had the opportunity to have a colorful and frankly open talk about the stress in females with some vacationers from England. "Female Stress?" "It is out of control in England," they exclaimed! It seems that "Female Stress Syndrome," and increased female exhaustion is getting to be the norm rather than the exception, we all agreed. So where does it come from, this "stress" and… where have all the flowers gone anyway?

The day-to-day activities of life are consuming our female population and many guys just aren't quite "getting it." For most women, they sink in silence, except during those "PMS days," when they are a little more… verbal…and it seems that no one really "sees it" or cares for that matter. Everyone is too busy to see that the responsibility of everyday life is crushing our women, our wives, our girlfriends, our mothers, our neighbors and our friends. Even women themselves do not acknowledge it most of the time. They are feeling increasingly miserable but every day they just tell themselves to quit whining and get to work. They say repeatedly, "I shouldn't be feeling this way…this isn't me"… "I want the 'old me' again." The only problem is that day after day it gets worse and more burdensome. They begin sinking slowly over the months and years until they are so far down they can't remember how they got there.

It interesting that that so many females are so frustrated with their current lifestyle. Many women are waking up every morning dreading the rest of the day and wondering how they can possibly make it through. The numbers of them feeling this way is increasing at an alarming rate. With husbands, bills, jobs, and kids the responsibilities never seem to end. Most females of today are stressed out, wiped out, beat down and rarely feel "awesome" like they "used to" and are in major need of empathetic understanding and medical intervention. Medical intervention? Why medical intervention? Many women think about all the "mental" reasons they are feeling the way they do but few understand the profound role that hormonal changes play in their reaction to this stress syndrome. Many patients tell us they fear they are slowly "going crazy." Many women do not talk with others about it as they feel it is a character flaw and they can't understand why they are feeling so bad.

It was very impressive to begin to notice the patterns occurring, so predictably, in the women coming into our office for one problem or another. Some scheduled for headache, some for back-pain, fatigue, soreness here or there, weight gain, some times weight loss, and others with depression or anxiety. None of them came in and said, " I think I have female stress syndrome, and I think my hormones are out of whack." "Doctor, do you think that is why I bite everyone's head off, want to quit my job, provide "courtesy sex" to my husband and generally want to run away?"

Is it that life is so much more stressful for females today? Is it that our women are not taking enough time for themselves to rest and recuperate? It appears that both of the situations are probably occurring. On one hand, women are working day and night with little time for rest and relaxation. With so many responsibilities and so much on the "radar screen" if they slow down for too long, the responsibilities keep coming, quickly pile up and overcome them like a wall of water, drowning their motivation to get up and start going again. On the other hand, they feel guilty if they take any time out to rest and simply "do nothing." Doing "nothing" is what we call "Down Time," it is vitally important. Guilt free - down time, Fu-Fu powder-in-the-bath time, no-kids-bugging-you time, time-for-yourself-time. It is crucial to have this mental break for your mind, body and spirit.

Females know what we mean…don't they! When was the last time they "stopped and smelled the flowers?" When was the last time there were flowers to smell? It may not all be "his" fault or "their" fault that women are so busy. It just may be that they have developed some poor habits promoted by a 24/7 (twenty four hours a day -7 days a week) lifestyle. Our bodies were not built for this type of unrelenting pressure. A car cannot withstand running constantly at 100 miles per hour… all day long, neither can our female population!

There are certain physiologic responses that occur when we are in constant overdrive. This is where the "medical part" comes in. The female body is a finely tuned creation. It responds to many stimuli - all at the same time. Like a multitasking computer, women are able to do many things at once, and usually do them effectively. This is good in many ways but it also has its drawbacks. Mom is able to fix Johnny's breakfast while cooking dinner, checking on the clothes in the wash, catching the latest news, looking at the scratch on his arm, making sure the muffins don't burn, pouring milk, updating the grocery list, deciding what to make the family for lunch, and letting the dog out…even if none of the family will bother to thank her for all that she does. There is a price to pay, however.

As women rise up to the tasks of the day a multitude of neural and hormonal communications inside her body are taking place. As these stresses mount up, both short term and long term, her body is responding to try to keep itself stable. The various hormonal regulatory mechanisms can get overwhelmed and the body can actually begin to decompensate from all the pressure. Some of the normal response mechanisms will, in effect, turn the body against itself and begin to deplete vital hormones required for a "normal" feeling. It is this "change of feeling" that so many women do not understand and cause so many men to get frustrated. "She used to be so nice… nothing ever bothered her," is a common statement from husbands. "Now, it seems that I can't do anything right and neither can the kids." Women will also, say… "I never used to feel this way…this isn't me…I'm not like this…I don't like who I've become." Later in the manual, we will discuss some specific hormones that regulate these feelings and why it is essential to understand what happens when there is too much stress for too long.

In the meantime, here are some helpful hints for those helping our female population with stress. The first step is understanding the problem, the second step is taking action to improve it. What women want, and what women need… is a little acknowledgement, a little appreciation and a little affection. The 3-A's of a women's needs are:

1) Acknowledgement. It is simple guys! They want to be acknowledged for what they do… which is a lot! There is a tremendous amount of evaluation, deciding and implementing that has to be done just to maintain the status quo in the house. Stop one morning and watch what she does, just to maintain the household. Stop and acknowledge that there are hundreds tasks that women completes that guys are literally clueless about. Those little baggie things… they are always there, and the honey, and the saltines and the dish soap… who thinks of that stuff?

2) Appreciation. Women want to be appreciated for the things they do. They do not want to be taken for granted. "Taking for granted" means to NOT routinely thank her for filling up the fridge, cleaning the house, washing your clothes or preparing a nice meal or just… being her. They want to be appreciated for doing all the household stuff and then trying to make it in the outside world too. Whether working out of the home or not, both women are VERY busy with many life challenges and little emotional support. Appreciation goes along way to ease the stress and tension that builds with trying to be everything to everybody.

3) Affection. This is one of the most forgotten A's. Buy her flowers! Open the door once in awhile, get a card or call her from work… just because. Affection is one of the best stress relievers there is. Give it abundantly! It's not that hard. Do those little things that occurred when you were dating. It is the little things that have very big meanings on a day-to-day basis and remain as very fond memories over a lifetime.

Affection can also come from within. Throughout his manual we will remind women that they can be very hard on themselves. It is important to show some affection to yourself! Give yourself the time for a long relaxing bath, or some down time with a good book and warm tea. It is important to disengage from the daily grind… in fact, it is essential.

It is our intent to educate more and more patients and health care providers about female stress. When many people become familiar with female stress, with ways to identify it and ways to minimize it, we will begin to turn the tide on this increasing epidemic. Each and everyone of us can then do our part to help each other. Knowledge of a particular subject, when understood, leads to compliance with a treatment approach and ultimately to control. It is time we control the amount of stress placed on our female population and avoid the devastating consequences that we are currently experiencing across this country and elsewhere in the world. Control or lack of it is a key point in managing female stress.